One's own perspective

Perspectives: The inside story


We have been spending this month talking about perspectives. First we explored whether you see things from your own, or others perspectives. The following week we worked on learning to take a step back and view things from other people’s perspectives.

It’s an Inside Job

This week, it is time to look inside ourselves and see the different perspectives we hold within our own minds. Sometimes these can be the hardest to see, and even harder to overcome. But once you become aware of them and what they are telling you, it is easier to work with them and develop perspectives that not only excite and engage you; but empower you as well and inspire you with confidence to do the things you were always capable of doing!

What are these internal perspectives I am referring to? They are the ones that creep in when you think about doing something different or challenging. They are the ones that creep in when you are doing something new, or perhaps doing something as a part of a group. They are the ones that creep in and say you aren’t good enough, smart enough, or athletic enough. The ones that creep in and say you’ll look silly, or this never worked in the past, or things never go your way. The ones that have you defeated before you even start!

Your Challenge

It’s time to challenge those perspectives! It’s time to honestly ask “where did they come from?” Is there any truth to it? This is not disputing that something may not have worked out the way you planned in the past, but does that mean it never will? What proof do you have that you won’t be successful this time? What if you do something differently? What if you are, perhaps, a bit more motivated?

Your past DOES NOT equal your future! This week, write down those limiting thoughts and beliefs when they come up. What are you doing/thinking when they come up? How do they make you feel? Is there any REAL truth to them?

Before you can change anything you need to identify and recognize what is going on. Once you have done that, THEN it is time to start making changes that will set you up to succeed; to inspire and motivate you. And to empower you and finally get things going your way!



Seeing things from a different perspective

The Best Way to Get Rid of the Drama in your Life


In my video from last week, you may recall my demo of the YMCA dance to show how we all view things from a different perspective. That’s why when everyone creates a letter “C”, half the room creates a backwards “C” and the other half creates the “C” that we are accustomed to. Neither of them are wrong – it just depends on whose point of view you see it from.

The point of that video was not to make you overthink the YMCA dance at your next event. Or to look for which people create the backward “C”s and chide them for seeing things from their perspective. The point is that most of us go through our lives seeing things from only our own perspective.

Why does it matter?

What happens when we only see things from our point of view? Drama! And lot’s of it. Let me give you a few examples.

Have you ever texted someone, saw that it was read, and didn’t receive a reply? Your mind can spin off in different directions with this scenario….why is she blowing me off? She must be mad about last night. Clearly, she’s ignoring me.

Here’s another scenario: One morning you arrive at work and you go into your boss’s office to update him on the project you’ve been working on. Your boss has been supportive all along, but today he rips you apart for the slow progress and threatens to give the project to someone more capable. You leave his office fuming and dwell on this conversation for hours at your desk. Maybe you complain to some of your co-workers. You spent so much time and energy on this project. What a jerk.

Now try seeing the other person’s point of view

The person who received the “ignored” text message, may just be really busy at the moment. Maybe he or she is in a situation where she can’t have her phone out. Maybe she’s driving.

The situation with the boss spiraled when we took his comments personally. The thought didn’t even cross our minds that something else could be going on in his life that caused him to be in an agitated state.

We can’t control other people’s states

We don’t know what is going on in other people’s minds or lives and clearly we have no control over that. What we do have control over is how we view these little incidents that come up in our daily lives. It’s not easy to do – we instinctively react from our own point of view. It takes practice to train ourselves to consider the other scenarios that may be underlying various situations.

Your challenge: Step into someone else’s shoes

Next time you experience a negative situation and you can feel yourself dwelling on the situation from just your point of view, stop yourself and try to consider the possibilities from the other person’s perspective. You don’t have to believe them 100%, just take a moment to consider them. Write them down.

Let me know how it worked for you

I won’t tell you what should happen. I want hear your stories. Try it out and come back and let me know in the comments how it worked for you.



No Matter Where You Are; There You Are!


 

 

standing in place feet

SO, you would like to make a change in your life, but don’t know where to start?. Perhaps you feel lost, lack motivation, feel stuck, or just simply that you’re not satisfied with your lives at the moment. The first thing I would suggest is that you identify where you are in life right now. No opinions, no good or bad, just where are you. I use the directory at a mall as an example. No matter what door you come in, what path you took, or how long it took you to get there, when you reach the directory, there will be a map with an arrow on it that says “You Are Here”. No matter where that sign is, it will always tell you where you are – pretty amazing technology, huh (lol!)!  Regardless of how you got there, that is where you are, and from that location is how you will find where you want to go, whether it be Macy’s, Crate & Barrel, or the exit.

When you identify where you are in life, it works the same way. It is simply identifying where you are. No judgement, no explanations, no good or bad, it is just a location. Don’t make it any worse than it is, it is just where you are right now. But from this point, we can identify where it is you want to go, what it is you would like to do or be involved in, and how you would like your life to change as we move forward. That is the fun stuff, but it all starts with identifying where you are…so remember, No matter where you are; there you are. Identify it and start moving on.

 

Stay Awesome…

 

J



Your Story Should Be Told


Black T Grinby: Jim Goldfuss 12/13/2016

Each one of us has a story
And one that should be shared
Not one that’s strict and rigid
Nor overly prepared

But one that comes straight from the heart
The journey you’ve been taking
Of things you’ve done, the battles won
The life that you’ve been making

It may not always go your way
At times it gets quite old
The emptiness and sorrow
Is more frigid than the cold

But the journey went on and so did you
When down, you got back up
And fought the fight
With all your might
You’ve always had enough

But strength, just like your story
Lies deep within the well
But first you must work to overcome
Those old stories that you tell

Those lines that say you’re not enough
And always doomed to fail
That no one really likes you
Your mind is one big jail

But the cell is never closed real tight
It’s open just a crack
And you need to open up that door
To leave, and don’t go back

There’s more to you than what you think
More power deep inside
A light that helps to guide you
And will never let you hide

For you have one great story
It’s a story to be told
It’s never too late to start one
And you’ll never be too old

And believe it or not you’re not alone
There are others who have been there too
Those who are still inside that cell
And don’t know what to do

Who look at that door while lost in thought
But then see the faintest light
And wonders where it comes from
Beyond the darkness and the night

That light is your true story
Of the places that you’ve been
The experiences you’ve encountered
The cells that you’ve been in

And that light is there to guide them
As they look to find their way
A light that you provided
That turned their night to day

And as you tell your story
Then others may do so too
And shine their lights
Into the night
And share what they’ve been through

And one day in the future
You’ll look back upon your life
And see how misplaced self talk
Was where you found your strife

And once you listened to your heart
And followed your inner guide
You found the strength and courage
To leave the strife behind

But more than that you shined your light
For others to behold
That light it was your story
And your story should be told.



Perspective…Don’t let a second of drama destroy a day of greatness!


PERSPECTIVE…
I had a fantastic night Tuesday speaking at the LOA meeting at the Turn Of The Corkscrew in RVC, and all the emails and comments back were extremely positive and constructive.

Being the length of the program (2 hours) I didn’t have the presentation video’d but Chris did video a short 90 second segment and take some pics. As always, I used the video to self-critique, and of course started picking apart the things I could have done better. There were things I was not happy with, and parts where I felt “gee, this had to have been one of my worst presentations at least from a presentation perspective.” I woke up this morning with a wonderful post from Helen Cernigliaro, reaffirming how wonderful she thought the presentation was and asking me to do an encore presentation in the Spring. 🙂

Takeaways? First off, I was using 1.5 minutes of video to define my 120 minutes of presenting. I watched the video and critiqued everything I did wrong. How often do we do this in our everyday life? How often do we let an incident, person, conversation, or outside action, which only lasted a minute, completely alter our mood/state for the rest of the day? Someone passes a comment, maybe 7 words, takes less than 10 seconds, yet those words send the rest of your day into a downward spiral.

The second part is this. Things are frequently not as bad as you feel they are. Now, granted, this is “perspective” and as one who has experienced significant times of deep “darkness” I understand how it feels when you are the one suffering, but just as my critique of my speech, I started listening to my negative critiques and started thinking that it was not such a great presentation (again, the message was great, but the method of presenting needed work), yet those on the outside watching it loved it and want me to do it again. I am not saying that to stroke my ego, but to present an opportunity to show just how bad self-talk can be. Were there things from my presentation I can work on to make it better? Of course. Was it a terrible presentation? No! far from it. Sometimes you need to take a step back and see the big picture. See the forest through the trees. If you find one thing wrong with the way things are going (or went) find 1 (or better yet, 2) things that went right. And when you find yourself in those times when you are beating yourself up and feeling down about how things are going, as I said in my presentation; CHANGE YOUR STATE! Get up, move around, stand tall, think of something to be grateful for, MAKE YOUR MOVE!!! but DON’T, let seconds of critique destroy hours of greatness! You’re Awesome!!!



Just Breathe…..


Good morning!!!! Remember, you cannot control what happens, but you CAN control how you react to it.

It’s easy to talk “positivity” when things are going well, but my friends, as one who battles anxiety and depression, I am all too aware of how easy it is to go down that negative emotional path, to get so caught up and consumed by your emotions, that it impacts your every thought, and ultimately your every action. To get lost in “that place”; the darkness, as it is so commonly referred to, and not only not know how to get out of it, but not realize just how deep you are in it.

All I am asking is that everyone who reads this post take a moment and just step back and take a breath. For just a minute or so stop thinking about the election, and the things someone just said or did that you heard, or some post on FB, Twitter, MSN, Fox, or whatever else you listen too. Step out of the mind running on and on, like that hamster running on the wheel to nowhere, or the monkey clapping its cymbals mindlessly, and just breathe and live in the moment. If you can, sit in your backyard, or some quiet place and focus on what you hear, the birds singing, the wind blowing through the trees, the sun shining on your face (yes, it still has some warmth) maybe the waves crashing on the beach if you can get there. Think of all the things in this world you are grateful for; your family and friends, a gift or a kind word sent your way, the place you live, anything and everything you are grateful for. Take that moment and live in the “now”; if your mind wanders back to the news, election, or other things, just guide it back to where you are, and the things you are grateful for. Just breathe….

For just 1 day, let things go. Don’t pay mind to the news, posts, or comments. ONE DAY WILL NOT CHANGE A THING IN THE WORLD, BUT IT MAY JUST CHANGE YOUR WORLD. Let go of the emotion for a minute, an hour, a day…give yourself the opportunity to take a step back and breathe. Remember, life doesn’t happen TO you, it happens FOR you. How you react to it is what determines what happens next – make your reactions a true reflection of who you are, and an outstanding example for others. Be a person who sets the example by YOUR actions and words, not by the actions and words of OTHERS. Control what YOU can control, don’t be controlled by OTHERS….and lastly…..TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND SMILE. You can accomplish the same things with a positive outlook or a negative one, choose positive! In the end, you will find that not only did you accomplish more, and feel better during the trip, you will have positively impacted others as well, and that’s the kind of change we all can use and in the end, really matters.

Have an outstanding day!!!